Thanks for Balance

Given that it is the season for giving thanks I was planning on writting about all the things that I am thankful for, especially given my recent job loss.  I thought that would help keep me in the right perspective.  While reading my current book, Wooden on Leadership, Wooden quoted Rudyard Kipling's poem "If" - "If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster and treat those two imposters the same." Though I had not heard that poem in years, it quickly came back to me and reminded me about the importance of balance. I thought this would be an appropriate topic for my Thanksgiving blog. Ok, it is a couple days early.

Now don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for friends, good health and especially my wonderful family. But one thing that has been a constant in my life has been balance, although my mom never thought I had any as she would always ask why I was the only one who always seemed to be on the floor or ground in whatever sport I played. 

This thanks is for life balance and it goes to my mom and dad.  Maybe it was a birth order thing, being a middle child, or maybe it was just that their strengths were different and I got a little of both. Dad was a standout athlete in three sports and played two in college, he is great with numbers, history and very handy.  I went to him for help with math, science and how to hit a ball to right field. Mom is always reading, loves to care for others, reflect and meditate.  She was the one that I went to for help with English, vocabulary, and understanding books.  They exposed us (my two sisters and I) to a wide variety of things, everything from sports to art, history to science.

My life has been pretty much defined by everything in moderation. Without really planning on it, I tried to be involved in as much as I could and being at a small school definately helped.  I played any sport I could, was in a multitude of clubs, and participated in the band, choir, and school play.  So much of my high school days were spent trying to balance everything.  This pattern continued in college and beyond.

When I took the job at Towson, we struggled to sell our house and I spent two plus years living apart from my family, returning home about every other weekend.  I spent long hours in the office, not really wanting to be at my apartment alone.  Somehow I lost that balance and have realized that was not good.  Work became a 24/7 part of my life.  Once the family moved down in August 2009, the balance started to come back and it made me a better person, employee, father, and husband.

I think I forgot how important that balance is and how that helps us be better at all the things we do.  I always wanted to do well at everything I participated in, but I also knew that not one of those things alone defined me.  I was defined by all of them as a whole.  Whenever I had success or struggle, I never had much time to enjoy the success or get down by the struggles as I had to move on to what was next.    This taught me moderation and the importance of balance, I realized that this would be the approach that worked for me.  (Although I think it hurts me in one of my outlets - Texas Hold'em Poker, but that is for another day.)

One of my mentors who I worked with at Binghamton and is now the Athletic Director at LeMoyne College, reinforced this I idea as it related to the long college basketball season.  He said that the season is too long and has too many games to get to high with the wins and to low with the losses.  You will drive yourself crazy if you do that, instead just enjoy the ride and then evaluate at the end.

The poem "If" is about all the things we go through in life and how they can impact us, great sentiments for young people.  Rudyard Kipling was a favorite of my mom, especially this poem.  It was one of a couple poems that she shared with me often as a kid and when I reread it this weekend it reinforced the importance of balance.  It reminded me that results, emotions and feelings are temporary and if we can learn to balance them, as Kipling says "Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a man my son!"

So during this week of giving thanks, I want to thank my mom and dad for giving me balance and for sharing so many wonderful things, including the works of Kipling.