Remember to take time for yourself

Over the last two days, I have been thinking this was a very enjoyable Thanksgiving holiday season and how nice it was to not have to worry about getting to a game, feeling need to check email or go into the office.  It was great to have four uninterrupted days with my family, including my in-laws and sister-in-law.  We did not have to travel and worry about driving on crowded roads, sleeping in foreign beds and packing.  I thought that it was just what I needed.  The only downside was not being able to spend time with my side of the family.

What I did not realize was that it was more than that.  I figured that out today.  Liz encouraged me to come to the gym with her and actually join.  She loves to work out and stays in great shape, me on the other hand never seems to have time for working out. So we decided that I would join and see how it all works out.

In the middle of a 45 minute cardio workout, I started trying to figure out when was the last time I had worked out at a gym.  I struggled to remember.  Then I went over to do some leg work and Liz suggested that we do squats.  That got me thinking about the year in college that I spent the whole fall working out preparing for basketball tryouts.  Before the season started, I was squatting up to 400 lbs at 10 reps as good as anyone on the team.  Today, I was lucky to do 100 lbs in three sets of 12.  I guess that show how long it truly had been.

On the ride home, I realized that all of this was about taking time for me.  Since graduation and especially since we had kids, I have not played in a golf or softball league, picked up a hobby, or really anything else that was just for me.  It has always been about work and my family and trying to find a way to balance it. 

In my professional life, I have never really taken time to mentally, emotionally, or even physically finish one job before moving to the next.  I started working at Hamilton in media relations before I graduated.  When I took the job at Binghamton, I basically finished my last day on Friday only to start work the following Monday and the transition to Towson was the same.  While working, I was rarely sick, hardly ever used my accumulated leave time, and usually found myself in the office during Christmas breaks (making sure those year-ends gifts got processed or at a game).  When not in the office, I was usually running the kids around or just zoning out in front of the TV while checking or clearing out email.

What I realized today was that this time off, which has included Thanksgiving and my workout today, has given me some time to do some things for me.  To not have any responsibilities outside of what is best for me and my family has been awesome.  I don't have hundreds of emails to write and respond to or an endless amount of meetings to attend.  I get to choose what I do each day, have lunch with my wife, pick up my kids from school and not have to worry about how are we going to get them from one activity to the next.  I can do some things to make me a better, healthier person.

I must admit that I have become addicted to the reality show "The Biggest Loser" and have discovered that each contestant eventually comes to the same realization - to really change their life, they have to do it for themself, not just to meet others expectations.  I used to think how can I do anything for me, that it was selfish when I had all these other things that took up my time where would I find a few hours to play golf, softball or just workout.  What I am realizing is that I need to do that to be a better person, father, spouse, and worker. 

I started playing cards at a local bar once or twice a week (this will be an entry of it's own).  There is no betting involved, I really don't know anyone, and it maybe takes three hours (if I am playing well).  What it does is give me an outlet, where I can relax, talk about nothing related to work or family and the people are nice and don't care how much money I make or where I live.  I guess I had not realized how beneficial that has been for me without taking anything away from my family.

What I once thought that I did not have any time for, I realized that is critical to make me a better person.  It has given me a different perspective on why we each must find this outlet or activity that is just for us.  We must find ways to take time for "me".  Hopefully, I can contiue my workouts (don't think my trainer, Liz, will let me stop) even after I find my next employeer.  I will enjoy this time between jobs and realize that I needed it for me and that will make me better.